After describing whatever behavior or thought patterns they're engaging in, people commonly ask me, "Is this normal?" But "normal" is usually a subjective assessment - there is no manual or rulebook to consult to help you determine whether something is normal, and even if there were, what would that mean for you, and how might the answer be helpful? It's been said that therapy is not so much about finding answers as it is about finding the right questions. Here's one that I recommend in place of the "normal" one: "Is this harmful?" That is, is what you're doing, feeling, or thinking harming you or someone else in any way? If the answer is yes, that's a more useful sign that perhaps some change is in order, rather than simply trying to determine whether you fall in the range of what is considered (again - by whom?) normal.
