Caution: You might want to make sure you’re not eating when you read this, nor engaging in any other activity (sex, for one?) in which it would harm you to acknowledge the human condition.
Here’s a perspective that I and some of my clients have found helpful. Whenever you feel intimidated by someone (whether due to infatuation, jealousy, envy, admiration, or whatever the reason), just remember ...that while most of us humans have become quite skilled at appearing polished, we are – every last one of us – at our essence, potentially and frequently:
Smelly
Sweaty
Snotty
Pissy
Shitty
Slimy
Oozy
Flaky
Oily
Messy
(Am I forgetting anything?)
So go ahead and accept it, and even embrace it, because it means that even that “flawless” beauty or heart-stopping crush is… you know - all of the above. Each time you feel that surge of fear/envy/anxiety, just refer to the list, even if mentally. Sure, it’s gross, but so are we (and so what?). And it’s true. And effective. Enjoy!(?)
Thanks to the brilliant Laura Kipnis and her book The Female Thing: Dirt, Sex, Envy, Vulnerability for further reinforcement of this truth!
Here’s a perspective that I and some of my clients have found helpful. Whenever you feel intimidated by someone (whether due to infatuation, jealousy, envy, admiration, or whatever the reason), just remember ...that while most of us humans have become quite skilled at appearing polished, we are – every last one of us – at our essence, potentially and frequently:
Smelly
Sweaty
Snotty
Pissy
Shitty
Slimy
Oozy
Flaky
Oily
Messy
(Am I forgetting anything?)
So go ahead and accept it, and even embrace it, because it means that even that “flawless” beauty or heart-stopping crush is… you know - all of the above. Each time you feel that surge of fear/envy/anxiety, just refer to the list, even if mentally. Sure, it’s gross, but so are we (and so what?). And it’s true. And effective. Enjoy!(?)
Thanks to the brilliant Laura Kipnis and her book The Female Thing: Dirt, Sex, Envy, Vulnerability for further reinforcement of this truth!